What About My Corned Beef

 

Today began as any normal sub day. My two high schoolers favorite days are when I sub at their school, mostly so they don't have to ride the bus.

I was excited because I love the subject and typically the kids that are there want to be. I have subbed in K-12 and one of the things I love about highschool is you can be more real and direct. 

Turns out though this would be no ordinary subbing day. The teacher I was subbing for doesn't have a first period, so I spent time acquainting myself with the room. You see it was an interesting space with multiple rooms off of it, one being someone else's classroom. There was also this room in the back and upon inspection I discovered it contained an Intex raised pool converted into a koi pond. Well that's cool!!! 

Just as first period was about to end, a call came over the intercom to hold first period. I thought hmmm that's odd; but maybe a SPED student needed some extra space, or there was a medical emergency or maybe something else equally benign. But the hold lingered on. I began to wonder. I texted my son who said he was fine but it was weird. I told him my lockdown instincts were starting to kick in and he said "nah I'm sure it's nothing."

As precaution I decided to sit by the koi and keep them company. Then another announcement "we are going into lockdown. If there is a sub near you make sure they know the protocol”. 

Doors locked, blinds got pulled, lights off and I had no students so I crammed myself behind the koi pond; between the noise of the filter and the tinted windows I wouldn't be found.

And then I waited, alone with my thoughts and the hum of the filter. Laying on hard tile.

In my pocket was my rosary. It was a good reminder to pray for all involved. 

And then I wondered, would I get to eat the corned beef I brought for lunch or would they find it and judge me based on the lunch I was supposed to eat. Was my breakfast my last meal? Because man if I'd known it was my last meal would that be what I chose to eat?

How's my daughter? She struggles with anxiety, and she's in a class with no friends. Is she in a room they can hide in or were they the room that initiated the lockdown.

My son tells me they are in a supply closet and have brainstormed what to do if someone gets in. I hope my daughter at home will be ok if this goes south.

Was the careless kiss goodbye I gave my husband this morning the last one ever? Will I get to cuddle my dog again? Man I have to pee, maybe coffee before work was a bad idea, but subbing without coffee is an even worse idea. Will reheated coffee be the last I ever taste? Will I get to make a latte tomorrow? 

My book is on a cliff hanger, will I ever find out what happens to my favorite character? Will I never get the chance to write the book I have stirring in my brain?  

I'm fairly new to my town, will anyone even miss me? Will they remember I was subbing in this room? When they write the newsweek article about this, will I be pictured as a victim? Will I have to be a hero? Am I capable of being a hero? Or will I be the blurb of statistics listed at the end? And again will I get to eat the lunch I brought?

See you never know what will go through your brain when you are in danger, but I got a glimpse today. And I learned a couple of things, God was my first thought after that my family is clearly the most important thing to me; and then food. Being alone with your thoughts sure makes you take stock.

After an hour an announcement came that we were safe, that this was a swatting incident and that we were still on lockdown until police came to each room and cleared it as safe.  

Then I see the news posts and Facebook posts and all the opinions. The casual way people would say “it's no big deal, it was fake”. It was no big deal when you were at home with no ties to the school. It was a very big deal when you were inside and had no idea what was going on. 

I'm ever so thankful for law enforcement who ensured our safety, to admin who had a plan, and to the k-9 unit-You're such a good girl. 

This event took literally our entire day, my day consisted of prepping, hiding and hanging out with the next door class and of course a late late lunch.

I did get my corned beef and a dose of "do what you want in life now as tomorrow is not guaranteed". And to the person who called in the swatting incident, there is a special place in hell with no corned beef.